can't sleep

I started my first semester at Ursuline, I was excited about the higher education that I was about to receive. I had my first real english class, this was the first one I had taken in a long time. I stepped into class needing a refresher on many things that I had learned along time ago in school, but over the years had forgotten. My instructor was very enthusiastic and quite helpful. I thought this was wonderful, l I was finally going to learn to write, now I can write my children's books. If anyone could assist me in achieving my life goal, I knew that This professors would.

For a young man I found him very knowledgeable about many things, he knew his subject well. As an older woman, I was even proud of him for all of his accomplishments that I perceived that he had achieved, I said to myself "this young man is phenomenal."

The reading was a bit much but I kept up. The last book that we were instructed to read changed my view about some things. I was shocked,hurt,and even angered, about the choice of reading that was considered academic. I thought "how has education fallen so low, is this what I was in a hurry to get back to?" A christain school with loose or no morals, surley we have thrown the baby out with the bath water.

I tried to look over the pornography and cursing, as a few conformers had suggested. but I found myself constantly thinking and being convicted about It, I felt like a compromiser. MY 76 year old God fearing mother asked me about my class, and what I was learning from the material, my sister motioned for me not to tell her, I had to change the subject. I dared not tell the girls that I mentor from Central State about what their dear sis Brown was reading. Some of the ladies stopped reading the "Zane" books because of our discussion of the negative affects these books had on them. These girls expressed a desire to change, not only were they sexually promiscuous but, many said they started at an early age and didn't know how to stop. Although these are college students they are working on trying to change their "ghetto" lifestyles.

I know that this may not seem normal to some people because often times people accept many things without question, but I assure you that it is very sane. When you have been taught to reject the bad and accept the good, and stand for something or fall for anything, it is difficult to switch the roles, even when your grade depends on it. What people read in their leisure is none of my business, but no one else should be subjected to others preferences without permission. One of the men at the church who is a recovering drug addict use to always tell me, you don't make monkeys sell peanuts. I now understand what he meant. You shouldn't force an alcoholic to work in a liquor store, and you cannot fix the societal problems by adding to them.

In my own personal life I found myself headed down the wrong path. I purposely chose to remove certain things from my sight/life in order to change the direction of my downward spiral. I am now on my way up and I will not be stifled stopped or weighed down.

Sucess happens one step at a time

When I first came to this class I met with a great deal of frustration. I did not know how to blog and neither did I think it a useful or nesscessary tool for my future endevors. I have since overcome my fear of blogging. Although I want to write children's books, I didnt want anyone to read my writing because I knew that it would have lots of gramatical errors. I thought that these people in the class have been in school for a while, or have come fresh from school, they knew how a writing paper needed to look,, and mines was not it. I have seen myself progress in the writing process. I know it will only get better from here. To the ladies who shared a group project with me,thank you we worked well together. Harmony makes a big difference in productivity. Look to see my books and drawings in a store near you. Just look for "The Princess of Briggadeedoo."

Just an observation

I sat down to watch the Transformers movie with my daughters this past Thanksgiving. While I watched I saw the scene where the miniture Decepticon found satisfaction in humping the leg and of the beautiful young lady star of the show. While humping he made sexual small talk. I guess the producers thought that this was funny. I thought about all the kids who watched the movie. I thougth about how just two weeks ago I had to intercede for a young girl on the corner of my street. As they waited for the bus to arrive, one boy had her from the front and another rolled up on her from the back. I told her that she was too valueble to allow someone to degrade her in that manner. I remembered the students that were suspended for sexual harrasment, and the ones who get in trouble for humping things and experimenting in the bathrooms. I wonder if the man who killed those eleven women would have related to that part of the movie,after all perversion does not just all of a sudden happen. I want to know who are the decepticons, the robots or the producers?

Identy theft

For my essay number two, I choose to write about Identy theft. I choose this because I saw Sarah Oconner had her identy stolen, by her political boss type husband. I believe that this is an on going problem not only in our country but across to world, in every nationality and in all cultures. When we are children we have such big ideals of who and what we want to be. It was anything from a doctor to a business woman or a mommy with a sucessful husband, a beautiful house, and two boys and a girl. We believe that life will be perfect and we will be in love with our spouses forever. But sometimes life does not turn out like we had dreamed it. situations arise that mold us and shape use into somethig totally different from our dream. In the process we begin to lose something. What is the something? It is our very selves. It is who we are, our essence. Dont't act like you dont know what Im talking about. This kind of theft is more common than car theft. Sometimes we can allow the persuit for education, to without our knowledge to steal the essence of our very souls this is what I call identy theft. My professor made a very profound statement the other day in class he said " dont allow the persuit of a degree to steal your soul". Years from now if I dont remember anything else about his class I will remember those words he spoke that night.

essay # 2 sorces

For speech number two, I unvolentarily am talking about Jean Silebius, He is a composer. in chapter of the St. Martins Handbook it said that people perform better on subjects they have the most knowledge aboout. but I think we can do this. The sorces that I am using are the Websters dictionary, Answers.com, music encylopedia, library soources.

Crooked river burning

I started reading Crooked River Burning and I got offended almost right off the bat. I was not interested in hearing about a red headed woman who shows boys her cookies for a dollar fifty. I was angry and I said to myself " is this some kind of light weight porn book? I'm I in school or what?

This is not anything that i would choose to read for myself. This is not what I would consider a good read after a long day of work. i saw the ratings on this book but, I did not understand why it was rated as high as It was. I guess because I'm just really getting back in the school scene and i did not realize just how loose our morals had become.

I do not like ot complain but I'll give it a shot. In the words of a famous writer, I would not read this in a box I would not read It with a fox. I will try to read as much as I can but, I do not like this Sam I am.

IOUAS the movie

I am writing aboout how I felt about the movie IOUSA. I felt that this presentation was very well put toghther. It was a very informative documentary. It was so interesting that I wanted to see it again,and I to went to work talking about it. This flim informed the American people about the current economic crisis. The writer creatively and effectively used graphics along with ethos logos and pathos in order to drive home a point about our countries economic desaster.

The flim stated that there are four deficits that the American people are facing today these are the deficit of taxes,savings,trade,leadership. In the flim tey interviewed several people. the results of the interview shoed that most Americans are clueless to why Ameerica is in the situation that she is in. Some people even believed that America is still holding the spot of the richest nation int he world. Tey also said that by the time the baby boomers retire there will be nothing left of social security or medicad.

If I were to analyze the information I see that the writer used Pathos often in order to play on the fears of the American People. For me It reinforced a belif that I already had. They also used Ethosusing name brand people like Warren buffet and the top accountant in the uninted States. This gave the argument mor credibility, especially after Warren Buffet said that He previously warned the White house of the disaster of borrowing continualy from other nations.

I would really like to see this flim again. I like to be an informed citizen. I really believe that what you dont know can destroy you.

Color me Butterfly MLA

Constance Brown Brown 1
Dr. Wright
Us 313
color me butterfly blog
30 October 2009

Color me Butterfly


"He claimed it was an accident and she accepted his apology and buried the truth"

In this section of the story Lydia is large with child. She feels tired and ready to deliver. She had come to realize that life with Loyd was no longer possible. Although, she still had feelings for her babies daddy. She is noticing the pattern of domestic violence, that could indanger her and her unborn child.

Domestic violence is not new to this country. It is not exclusive to generations of old nor race, culture, or status. Surprisingly domestic violence is found in every sector of life: In her book "Why Does He Do That". Lundy Bancroft takes us on a journey into the minds of angry men. In listening to the voices of the many women interviewed, they say things like " he really doesnt mean to hurt me he just loses control".(141) According to "Lundy" The abuser has an array of control tactics for example: Sarcasm,Distortion of word, Playing games with the victim and a host of others tactics.(141) Lydia did what is typicle of the victim of abuse, she accepted his apology and attempted to bury the truth. Though the truth is buried, truth does not die. Somewhere along the line it will rise. The best thing that you can do for an abuser is to get help for yourself, bring what he is doing to the light. He must be held responsible for his own actions.

I chose to write about this because, being in the ministry I have had to deal with this subject over and over again. You may be surprised that this type of thing would happen in the church but it does. I would like to be able to help women who find themselves in this situation. One of the first steps is identifying that this is in fact what is happening and step out to get help.

cited
Marlow L.Y. color me butterfly:2007
Bancroft Lundy. Why Does He Do That

What I thought about the peer review

When we did the peer review this past Wednesday, I did not know just what to expect. I thought that it was something different. I have never really had anyone look at my writing seriously to critique it except an instructor. I was a little intimidated by having another student look at my paper. I did not know wether or not the person would understand my paper. I was hoping that no one would say " oh my god I cant even read this." I work hard to fix my writing before someone else sees it. I have been out of these type of classes for a very long time. I think that I feel that everyone else is better at this writing thing then I am. I had brought my paper, but it was still on the computer. I had not saved the paper on a jump drive. When I turned my computer on, it stayed on for about a half an hour then it lost power. I had to verbally explain my paper to Ania. I guess I was not doing such a good job communicating my thoughts to her because, at times she seemed not to understand. I also beleve that in this class many seem stand offishor even guarded.
. Most of what I had written was through just brainstorming so I really didn't have anything organized. When I talked to Ania I was still brain storming. I think that this will help me to take acloser look at myself and strive to be better. The skills that you learn from the peer review are transferable. You can use them as a tool help in all your writing. I think it will make you mor aware of how you write and in doing so you will become a better writer. It also forces you to allow somone else to help you better your writing so you wont think that it's good when it is not. Because i plan to write childrens books i know that I will need this kind of feedback. I must be open to the process if I want to be the best at what I do.

My philosophy on education

Ignorance is dangerous. (M. Murdock) Because of this dangerous enemy of man kind we see poverty abuse and gross injustice in our schools, and throughout our society. I believe that it is not good for a people to be without knowledge. However, I believe, that it was Shakespere who once stated that much education has made us mad! Mad you say? Yes mad! We have just gone crazy, loony to the toon of deliberate blindness. We have lost sight of the direction in which our educational system has and should go. Because of this our schools are running over with chaos, confusion and disrepect for authority.
Today we have more educational opportunities than ever before. we have excelled in the areas of technology and science but we have become clueless as to how to destroy the mis- education monster that taunts us on a daily basis. Because of that we are getting a big red F, on our report card.

Our teachers are now mandated to be called highly qualified. But, upon experiencing, the great lack of control in many of our classrooms across the country, One must wonder what some are highly qualified for . Our children are not falling through the cracks anymore. They are busting out through the windows, breaking out the doors, falling through the floors and. Are they left behind as the government said no child would be? Why of course not! You cant be left behind if the bus never comes in the first place.

Education that is for the people will help them to learn skills that will afford them the ability to achieve goals, and become productive citizens. It will foster the philosophy that Everyone bettered is better for all.

I agree with Dr. Murdock in saying that ignorance is dangerous but, the greater danger lies in an educational system without the power transfer knowledge. A system withoutout bounderies. An institution without discipline and inciteful compassion, one without eyes. We must keep in mind that It is difficult for the blind to lead the blind, and awaken from our sleep.

Why I choose this topic

I choose the topic The ineffectiveness of Americas education because.  I have been in the formal school setting for the past 12 years.  I see first hand the way things are handled.  I know the difference between the education I received several years ago.   and the education young people receive today.

 When I was growing up, One teacher was well able to handle a room of 30 children.  Now you have at least 2-3 teachers in the classroom with less children and the results of success are lower than they were 20 years ago.  

Although the parents of yesterday  were complaining about not enough resources, inequality, and the fact that the better educations were in the suburban schools.  We still had a system that cared more about the education of their students, then they did about how much money  would be receive from each child,  labeled special education.

I think that we should be ashamed of ourselves when our teachers are required to spend thousands of dollars for an education,  to have it all hinge on one test for a license.  We should be ashamed of ourselves when all our staff is mandated to become highly qualified on paper, but is highly unqualified to control the class. Some cant even get a lesson tahght because of the lack of control.
 We have become as the old adage in the pat-a-cake poem "O mary mack". Its like this She went to college she even went to school but when she got out she was an educated fool. I tell you We should be ashamed.

Color me Butterfly

In the book color me butterfly I found Eloise to be a interesting character. Although some would say that she was a coward, and many would disdaine her for even putting up with Issac as she did. I think this woman did what was expected of her in the era in which she lived. This was a time in which the mindset of people was that of "James Brown" popular song " This is a Man's World". Contrary to popular belief today, that is exactly how things were ran. I can here the women sitting around the kitchen table saying "girl thats just the way men are". The problem is that this was the popular belief of the day. And wether we want to admit it or not, many women went through similar situations. This was the era of men like "Muddy Waters" and "Howlin Wolf". Strong black men raised in a hard life of poverty and discrimination. Men and women who were not slaves, but were so close to the end of slavery that they could still smell the rotting flesh on the masters whip. This was the era of my big mama. Big mama, that is what we called my grandmother Anni Bell Banks. A strong black woman who bore eighteen children by one husband. Out of her eighteen foruteen survived the difficult southern life. Anni bell had to raise her children in a difficult family situation. even when my grand dad left Anni Bell did what she had to do to keep the family going. Eloise only hope was to have a better life. she like most women wanted a wonderul well structured family. Back then women tried to hold on to anythinf that resembled a family even if it met that someone had to suffer. to them family was not someting that you just throw away, like we do today. although she had strength she had not yet discovered it.

Color me Butterfly

In the book color me butterfly i foound Eloise to be a interesting character.

The ineffectiveness of Americas education

I choose to write about Americas ineffective educational system because of what I have seen in the last 10-12 years.

I will start by saying that I came into the work force kinda late, compared to societies standards. I made the choice, to be a stay at home mom. I am extremely glad that I sacrificed that time, because, the fruit of that choice paid off. I now have 3 successful professional women in my life, that I have the privilege of calling my daughters. I realized how much time I had to put in with them in order to reap the benefits desired.

When I began working out side the home. I had several odd jobs until, I landed a job as a paraprofessional in the school system. I was so excited to be able to pour my knowledge and experience into a group of 5th. graders, just as my teachers, from my past had done for me. In turn I did the same thing for my daughters. I had also taken on the responsibility to mentor other young ladies.

I found myself right on the front line of the battle in this a school classroom settinng. I soon realized that the education that I had received, and that which my daughters received. was different from what these children were getting.

The first teacher that I worked with. Ran off a copy of all his lessons. Dailey he would pass these sheets out to the class, without so much as one instruction. Several of the kids would proudly, put their names on the paper, give themselves a grade of F, and turn in their papers. The rest of the day they would attempt to terrorize the rest of the class. Sometime they would just use that time to take a much needed nap.

After realizing just how effective Iwas and still am, with discipline in the classroom. I soon became known by all. I realized the struggle that the 5Th. graders were having was not an isolated incident. The lack of progress was school wide. Iwanted to helpso i did what I could. I helped by making sure that each child was challenged to do their best. Everyone did not like this but I felt a sense of duty. I still feel that this is part of my life's calling only now the voice is much louder and clearer. this is why i choose to write about this